I started to write this blog about 6 times over the last 36 hours and I was finding myself so upset and frustrated I had to walk away and cool off multiple times. After sleeping on it and coming to grips with the overflowing amount of emotions that erupted from my heart in regards to comments made I finally feel that I can write this post rationally. I must admit that this stems from comments made on a friends blog in regards to her decision of postponing vaccinations for her baby. She was not asking for insight. She was merely just telling everyone her thoughts on being a new mother and experiences thus far. I'm not discussing the issue at hand per-say. But more, the response of ignorant, inexperienced, unprofessional and down right thoughtless people. So:
Disclaimer: I AM not claiming to be an expert in any area other than my family. I am not a doctor, but a mom that has become a huge advocate of those that suffer from any sort of developmental anything and for their families that have the enormous responsibility of loving them through these trials. If my comments offend you, that's your choice to take offense and feel free to take my blog feed off your list and de-friend me on Facebook and not look at my "communication links" online again because this is who I am, this is my feeling on the issues at hand and these are things I am not ashamed of. If you choose to comment on the contents of this blog keep in mind that this matter is not up for discussion or argument. This is based on facts. You either support me or you don't. I would love to hear your stories and experiences however of being a mom with a child with special needs so that others can see that it isn't something we take lightly.
On the issue of Jenny McCarthy:
All advertising and issues become well known when they have a well-known face to come with them including illness: Parkinsons= Michael J Fox; Post-Partum Depression = Brooke Sheilds; Pancreatic Cancer: Patrick Swayze; Breast Cancer= Christina Applegate; Obesity= Kirsti Alley....
Autism= Jenny McCarthy
On that note, Jenny McCarthy has become the face of Defeating Autism. Many parents of children with Autism salute her and what she has gone through. For those of you that have formed an opinion of her and what you THINK her books on Autism are about, I encourage you to pick them up and read them for yourselves. You will find that she doesn't think that vaccinations are the "cause" of what we know to be Autism, but a possible contributing factor to the illness. She does not advocate NOT Vaccinating, but to vaccinate SAFELY. She also doesn't claim that her son is CURED from Autism, but has successfully treated his symptoms and gotten his seizures under control. Like ALL ILLNESS, she found what worked for them and encourages giving it a shot. If you want to know more visit her site. There is A LOT of very COMPELLING RESEARCH from some very reliable sources and Doctors to back up their findings (including Dr. Sears, a world renound pediatrician). READ IT! You might just find yourself questioning what you thought you knew about Autism.
My 2 Cents:
Unless you are a parent of a child with some sort of disability DO NOT think that you are an expert of sorts what-so-ever in regards to a parents decision(s) regarding the health of their child. It boils down to this and this alone: in the battle of MOM vs. friends, family, strangers, "experts", doctors, therapist of any sort, nurse, WHATEVER; MOM CARD TRUMPS ALL! Women inherently have a sixth sense. We know if our nursing baby is hungry even if we are 50 miles away from them. We know in the middle of the night if something is wrong. We know if someone is lying to us. When it comes to our children and our families, we have been blessed with this gift. If a parent feels that a treatments risks outweigh the benefits, you are not at liberty to give your opinion on the matter unless they directly ask YOU for it. I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to hit someone (particularly a speech therapist I happened to meet randomly in a park with my kids one day) for comments based on what they "think" they "know" about us. I have chosen not to disclose the personal experiences we have with autism (and many other things) on a daily basis because I do not feel it necessary. And I feel that way because of so many people that have felt the need to tell me what the "think" is "wrong" or what they "think" we "should" do about a particular situation. You do not know my child or even me for that matter well enough to offer such advice unless I directly ask you for it.
For the record: on the subject of vaccinations, (when you do the thourough research you will see that there is significant evidence on both sides of the issue. If the AAP really thought that vaccines weren't related to the Autism epidemic or other illness then WHY have they started reformulating them???) If you think that the small risk of autism or any neurological disorder that MAY or MAY NOT arise from use of a vaccine is not as severe as the small risk of the disease it is intended to prevent you should spend a week with a child that has Autism and then tell me: would you rather risk a short bout of the mumps or Autism. Your own answer might surprise you....
Also, NO illness or disease has EVER been irradicated completely off the face of the earth (yes small pox or anything else) due to vaccines. YES they have significantly LESSENED the occurance of them but go back to Bio 101: bacteria and virus' MUTATE and change. The adapt to the ever changing enviornment to survive like any other organism (hello superbugs like MRSA??? or the flu shot sometimes working sometimes not, or SWINE FLU mutating and now contaminating humans???). NO medical treatment is full proof. There is no "one size fits all" treatment or cure for ANYTHING out there (like people that are cured of cancer even though there is no known cure for it....and yet so many others die).
Our entire lives we have been told to eat spinach for example. It gives Popey Super Strength and big muscles, it's full of anti oxidents and essential vitamins. Eating it can ward off cancer and pre mature aging. And so, WE EAT SPINACH....however last year, someone didn't wash their hands or something and WHAM: Salmonilla poisoning! And all of the news we start hearing "Don't eat the Spinach!!!".
What about medication recalls? Or drug and food allergies (I personally cannot have the 3 most popular classes of AntiBiotics even though most the world out there can)?? My point here is that why are we all so sure that Vaccines are 100% safe for everyone?? Just because some of us chose to not vaccinate, post pone it, or do it on an alternate schedule DOES NOT MEAN that we are neglecting our children. Quite the contrary: we are watching out for our children. We are being cautious about the garbage we are injecting them with. We are trying to keep them safe just as parents of children who believe everything their doctors and the AAP say and go forward with the traditional schedules of vaccines are trying to keep theirs safe. We are trying to offer our children and their bodies the best chance of success we can.
My point:
Think before you Speak
Especially when it comes to a mother's decisions regarding her children.
I read an LDS fiction novel about a mother's struggle with learning her daughter has autism. It is the "Faraway Child" by Amy Maida Wadsworth. It is just a fiction novel but it was interesting and enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteI like how you put that the mom card trumps all. I feel that this is true in many situations, especially when getting "unsolicited advice." However, after working with children with a variety of disorders and meeting with their parents on a weekly basis, I would add the it only trumps all when mom (or dad) is a caring, loving, and supportive individual. Some of the families I work with are very dysfunctional and while I choose to keep my comments to myself, I'm not sure they are always doing what is best for their child. I'm not arguing with any of your statements, just pointing out that its sad that not all parents are as loving and concerned as you are. :)
ReplyDeleteHey Heather -
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you for sharing your beliefs and views. I agree with you whole heartedly and have always been a little leery of vaccinating so many in such a short amount of time. Jenny McArthy was on the Doctors show the other day and it was interesting to see how heated up everyone got. I am all for letting the parent decide if they need to go on a different schedule for vaccines. Isabella, my first was having a hard time with the vaccines starting at 2 weeks. So, I postponed a couple trying to avoid anything traumatic. I knew and feared something like autism might come of it. You are an amazing mom and I applaud you and your efforts to take care of your children and be an advocate for them.